I Always Want What I Can't Have

the feeling now is one of anticipation. i wanna hear all about Nasty Naz's escapades with Mr Awie Indon. called her twice, today and last night, and it didn't sound like she was giving away much. not till monday when i see her in school anyways.

like a good girl i did what i was told and paid Tower Records and Borders a visit. all the bands i heard tonight are from Canada and recommended by hydrogen_blue. could only find Sam Roberts, Sloan, Rufus Wainwright, David Usher (mondo gay looking fella) and Our Lady Peace. it's true what my friend says about the latter, they sold out on their latest album. i'm actually contemplating of buying Vines' Winning Days. listening to the entire album right now, courtesy of Netscape's Full CD Listening Party or some shit like that. heard the Datsuns' for the first time coz Roach is always harping about them. they are a bunch of nasty sounding motherfuckas. aural assault, ok! made up my mind that until i get The Replacements i can forget about buying other albums by other bands. i need to buy that Replacements CD.

boy were there alot of magazines with Cobain on the covers! after a decade and people are still paying tribute and celebrating his death anniversary. geezus. the legacy of Cobain and his gazillion of loyal fans worldwide never fails to amaze me. leave the dead alone, i say.

sometimes i suspect Roach has a radar or something coz despite our last phone convo that went really bad, he called me up today. woke up from a long nap today in cold sweat coz i had a dream about him. shudder not a good dream, too. but i was set to go out with Lurp so we couldn't meet up. sorry, boy, another time.

we ran into Clar. it's been a long time since i met that boy. i thought we stopped talking coz he was still upset about my lying to him all those months ago. turns out he got busy with his school and his girlfriend. and it's still the old one. the one who's a great kisser. well i had to go ahead being the bitch that i am and ask 'Clar, isn't there like other girls?' Clar being Clar just smiled sheepishly and shrugged my bluntness off. he's going to the states after he graduates and he promise us a 'jigjig' party upon his return. HOOZAY! WE LOVE YOU, CLAR!

you know who else i love? Ozzie the accidental manwhore. you'll never meet a real manwhore till you meet my friend Ozzie. called me last night out of the blue. it's been eons. makes me think that this week is all about how my past is catching up with me. of coz whenever Ozzie calls, i'll give him my standard opening line; 'how's Adam? still single and available i hope' and he'll give me his standard answer; 'give it up coz Adam ain't never gon have no girlfriend'. Ozzie is still up to his usual shenanigans. like i've said before; you can always expect the indecent to stay indecent. he's still his slutty self. which is a good thing since i enjoy hearing my guy friends when they're going on and on about their sexual escapades.

Lurp has stamped her boyfriend's admirer Most Wanted Bitch To Skin Alive On Sight on her hate list. she's scary like that. we came across this group of goth people and she was like screening each and every one of their faces. she keeps telling me if she sees that stoopid bitch today she's gon kick her smutty ass right then and there. apparently the girl has been bad mouthing her to the boyfriend. i suspect she was the one who left that supposedly threatening message on Lurp's voicemail. what i can't understand is why this girl is so hung up over Lurp's boo. i mean, he's like Mr Boring Of The Millenia. plus he's not even her kind, as in he's not some goth dressing dude. i dont envy your position, Lurp's boyfriend's admirer, whoever you may be.

it was Z's birthday a coupla days ago. HAPPY BITRTHDAY, HONEY! you know i'll love you for as long as i live. may you and Fir enjoy matrimonial bliss in the years to come with bouncing baby boys and girls calling me 'Auntie Harmy'. aw shucks! i'm going to be a godma aaaaaahhhhh!