Take the wind out of my sails
An entry from the twin (6 Jun) described the current state of my affairs. Quarter life crisis or not I need some kind of sign, direction, anything to kill the self-doubt, the not knowing. On Friday morning that horrid horrid line from that horrid horrid song filled my head in the morning, ALL morning. "What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't belong here." Is this why I feel such an affinity to Horror's Primary Colours, why I always feel the need to stare into space and snapped at anyone who interrupts? So much so the new girl in the office told everyone that she hates eating lunch with me because in between small bites of food, there will be long periods of staring into space with me ending up not finishing lunch and scurrying off for a smoke. Man, I even lack attitude these days. I keep thinking I'm taking my old lecturer's advice: when you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. But now I think I'm just using it as an excuse. Truth of the matter is I don't know where I'm heading. I don't know where I want to be heading. You may think there's nothing wrong with that. You may tell me to relax and enjoy my youth. BUT REALLY?! Shouldn't I be doing something that means something, anything to me right now? My mom will just tell me to pray. People will tell me to get married, get promoted, start a family, buy a house. I just want to be left alone, maybe.
An entry from the twin (6 Jun) described the current state of my affairs. Quarter life crisis or not I need some kind of sign, direction, anything to kill the self-doubt, the not knowing. On Friday morning that horrid horrid line from that horrid horrid song filled my head in the morning, ALL morning. "What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't belong here." Is this why I feel such an affinity to Horror's Primary Colours, why I always feel the need to stare into space and snapped at anyone who interrupts? So much so the new girl in the office told everyone that she hates eating lunch with me because in between small bites of food, there will be long periods of staring into space with me ending up not finishing lunch and scurrying off for a smoke. Man, I even lack attitude these days. I keep thinking I'm taking my old lecturer's advice: when you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. But now I think I'm just using it as an excuse. Truth of the matter is I don't know where I'm heading. I don't know where I want to be heading. You may think there's nothing wrong with that. You may tell me to relax and enjoy my youth. BUT REALLY?! Shouldn't I be doing something that means something, anything to me right now? My mom will just tell me to pray. People will tell me to get married, get promoted, start a family, buy a house. I just want to be left alone, maybe.
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