Nice But Not Really

so the night's young, birds getting sloshed and blokes making up their minds.

who do i want to take home tonight? the pan asian with the british accent in a red hot number? the jet black hair hottie who's got the awesome tattoo just... there? or should i just pack in my piece and go home? decisions decisions decisions.

(to the tune of Cocker's Running The World)

the who's who are all here, resplendent in their retail designer knock-offs. powder -the right layer, liner just the right thickness. perfume? honey, you can never have too much perfume.

oh he spins? she was the face of FHM? no! seriously, i wouldn't wear a black thong with that white dress... it should be neon pink instead, love!

Cunts are still running the world... like it would herald the arrival of three very dirty, very out of place persons. i'm not even sure they got the right place because one of them looked about her quizzically.

Oi, this lot looks mighty clean don't they? you got some Clash, love?

the second one moped her forehead and grimaced. ney, 'tis stifling here! don't mind us some sippy of your bubbly and one grimey hand closed around the glass of a very shocked british accented bird.

the third ran up to the stage and grabbed onto a mic. those of yous who wanna get some tonight -EXIT THAT A WAY. can't have me some cheeky louse hanging about when all we wants to do is partaay!

and they, ladies and gentlemen, are the smoking piss consortium. my, aren't they an unruly bunch.